Humorous Stories in English: A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”
A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:
“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?
The sailor said no to all his questions.
Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.
After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?
The professor said no.
Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.
A man is talking to God “God, how long is a million years to you?”
God answers, “To me, it’s about a minute my dear“
“God, how much is a million dollars to you?” asked the man
“To me, it’s a penny my dear.” God replied
“God, may I have a penny?” said the man trying to trick the god
“Wait a minute my dear” said the God with a smile on his face
marriage over years
- in the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens
- In the second years of marriage, the women speaks and the man listens
- In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were flying on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute and yelled to the passengers that they better jump, and he himself bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one of the parachutes and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live to save other’s lives,” and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.” He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Do not worry Father. The smartest man in the world just took off with my back pack.”